Leaning on your partner for support, comfort, security is all part of being in a relationship and if you are able to do that you can be quite sure the relationship is solid. But what about when your family want to lean on your partner for these things too.  How much is too much?

I have a friend, married 2 years. Happy for most of them. Living with her sister for all of them.

This hasn’t been easy on her or her husband and the situation is a little sensitive. My friend feels that family comes first and if you can help, naturally you should. Her husband is considerably less family-oriented and he feels that his sister-in-law is taking advantage and abusing their hospitality.

The question of boundaries in relationships is a tricky one because one of you will inevitably feel the other is being unfair. It’s always difficult to try and see anything from the other perspective and this can lead to arguments.

In my experience, it’s always best to ask yourself what you would want from your partner if the roles were reversed, and be that for them. No matter how idealistic you are, relationships do take work and ‘if it’s worth having it’s worth fighting for’, (if I can be so ironic as to quote Cheryl Cole in a relationship advice article…).

The bottom line is, family is important, but so is your relationship and both should respect the other. Easier said than done if any of you have difficult in-laws. Nonetheless, respect the boundaries of your loved ones as you would want them to respect yours and hopefully you can avoid these sticky situations in the first place.